Ok, so this post may get a little soap-box like but it’s something that I need to talk about because its become a huge issue for me.
So, most people have heard the phrases ‘pushing through pain’ ‘no pain no gain’ and similar ones..
But when you have chronic illnesses or any illness that leaves you physically or mentally bodily exhausted these phrases are.. Well, rather annoying and very very wrong.
It’s something a doctor or specialist wanting you to do G.E.T or start physical excercise would say “you need to learn how to push through the pain, push past it and you’ll get stronger, control it and not have it control you!”
Which is why, we now have thousands upon thousands of people who tried or were bullied into G.E.T or a exercise routine, become severe more debilitated and set back health and body wise years.
Because pushing through the pain simply doesn’t work. Pushing your body to do anything more than it should is going to have devastating effects on your health and body. Its going to push you too far and completely disable you for days, weeks months or years.
Our bodies arent like a healthy persons. They cannot cope with everyday tasks, let alone 30 minutes of cardio and physical exercise. Cannot cope with the strain it puts our muscles under. Cannot cope with the moving, lifting and shifting our body’s need to do when excercising.
Our bodies will simply revolt protest and then literally disable itself. And us. Because it should never ever be put under this kind of strain.
“Oh but if you exercised more you could walk better, its because you don’t walk alot that you can’t walk well try walking more and you’ll be fine again..”
Nope. Nope with a massive dollop of, no chance in the world no way and never ever on top.
We are sick. We are too sick to do washing up, brushing out hair, to get out of bed.
To sick to eat, read, watch TV, write.
But exercise is going to help us?
Would you say that to someone who has the flu, viral infection, measles, meningitis, sepsis… Would you say, oh go for a run that’ll cure you!
It would never ever even be suggested!
So why to us?
Because our lack of body ability annoys you? Frustrates you? Our laying in bed is a hinderance to you. Our limitations are seen as lazy because you cannot bother to continue to help us as our illnesses last longer than a few weeks?
Chronic illness is just that. Its chronic, its all day everyday and mostly for ever. We are never ever going to be cured, not unless a super drug is invented. Which we would love and rush to have because shock horror we do not want to be like this.
To be too ill to do anything. To live properly, to do anything without it making us even sicker or having a massive flare.
No one would wish that on, or for, themselves. Its not exactly a childhood dream is it like asking a child what they want to be in future…
“when I grow up I want to become sick and disabled, lay in bed all day in agony, bodily exhausted live in guilt that I am unable to be the mother, lover, sister, wife, daughter that’s expected of me and I want to be, and not able to do anything without causing my body to revolt against me”
Not exactly living the dream is it?
We are even subjected to this kind of thing in our own support groups and forums..
You always get someone reaching out for help, support in a post, at breaking point in so much pain they’re devastated both physically and mentally. And so many people reach back and help, be there and in joint understanding comfort and words of support.
But then… Some toff nosed self centered self invested of importance comes out with this treasure for this person reaching out for help..
“Oh well, I don’t let the pain control me. Control my doing stuff with my kids/partner/job… I push through it and it’ll never ever beat me!”
Well good for you Doris, I’m sure that nugget of useless, self obsessed, arrogant, un helpful in every and anyway will really help that person feel so much better!!
I sit there looking at the comment and suddenly I can think of something I could push… And it ain’t the pain.
Some of us are more severe than others. Some able to work still, or do things that others that are a bit more severe cannot even think about let alone be physical able too.
People need to realise that, that just because you may be able to do something that doesn’t mean others can. And not because we are lazy or cant bothered but simply, we cannot. Much like a lot in life, not just illness.
And no, by saying that I am definetly not suggesting that your fibro isn’t just as important or as serious as ours . Or should be taken lightly or without the same kind of respect and recognition.
Just that for a lot of us, pushing through the pain is simply not an option. And we feel awful enough about it, without judgement or phrases that just do not fit into our lives our bodies or world around us anymore.
We don’t need to feel anymore isolated, alone, mis understood or mentally anguished than we already do.
Please think before uttering such phrases, suggestions or comments to someone who is chronically ill. For us living in a world of such pain. And our loved ones who are also affected by it.