Anniversary

I made it to the zoo!
Yup, I wasn’t sure if it would pan out but it did and I had a wonderful few hours. I felt like a child, so excited, and I actually felt sick from excitement haha 🙂

I even had my face painted, my partner did too and it caused much amusement from children and adults as we walked around the zoo. I stopped caring many many years ago about what others thought and it didn’t faze me one jot, I smiled and did tiger grrrs at some children which they laughed at. Here’s the pic of me in all my painted glory

I also had two bunches of roses from my partner, white and pink 🙂
I love roses, I know it’s not exactly the rarest of flowers but I think them very beautiful and strangely relaxing. I shall take two of them out of the vase and dry them, I’ve done this with most flowers I’ve had, they create good memories for me.

Today has been a very happy one. Not just because of the outing but because of celebrating our year together. It may not seem long but during that year life changed beyond anything imaginable. So much has happened, bad as well as good, that I will forever look back and be astounded that not only did we get through it but we became stronger and closer because of it.
🙂

Chronic pain strikes again

I have no idea what happened to today’s blog, it only uploaded the first part of it! Grrrr

My chronic pain is back with avengence, but I’m hoping it’s a short lived thing. I can only take oramorph and paracetamol in between new pain meds and even though my pain meds have been tripled in dose I’m still in massive pain. Fingers crossed it’ll ease off.

I had a plumber come today, my toilet wasn’t flushing properly which was yucky. I took the top off the cistern and saw I needed a new ball cock (tee hee) in the past I would’ve fixed it myself but I no longer have the energy or ability to pop to the shop for supplies. The plumber was nice enough and fixed it within minutes, so my toilet now flushes better than ever. Relief 🙂

It’s my partner and I 1 year anniversary on Monday. We are planning a trip to the zoo which I am really excited about! I am hoping that I can go, it’ll be the first major outing for me in neatly 2 years. I’ll dose myself up with painkillers and bring my aides and other bits to make the day easier in my body.
I want to roar at the lions oooh oooh at the monkeys and go into the bat sanctuary and have them fly around me. I am going to do my best to get there!

It is my longest proper relationship and although it’s been difficult at times we’ve got through it and are stronger than ever. I became really unwell within two months of us being together which would impact on any relationship. I was willing to let him go, I said I wouldn’t hold it against him if he did and I didn’t want to put my stuff onto him. He refused and has been there every step of the way. There is a six year age difference between us, he’s younger but it’s not an issue at all as we are very mentally connected and he is very wise. He tells me every day he loves me, how beautiful I am and I know they’re not just words. He is the guy in movies you watch that are loving, supportive, kind, always there and you never believe that kind of man exists. But he does, and I love him more than I could describe, I appreciate him and he is my equal in every way. I am an incredibly lucky lady.

I aim to make some bracelets later on if my pain decreases, I have so many beads, silver accessories and chains that my partner bought I could make around 50 with them. I also have neckelace items which I am to make, I love silver! It’s favourite colour next to black. I will post pictures if I do make them and would appreciate honest opinions 🙂

Chronic pain strikes again

My pain is back with a vengeance.
My whole body feels as though I’ve run a 10k marathon, with the flu and being shot at along the way.

The pain meds are obviously not working. The problem is I am out of codeine as I couldn’t take it with my new pain drugs so I didn’t do a new prescription. I will ask my Father to put one in today.
I am really disappointed as I thought this kind of pain was in the past. I’m angry too, angry at my body doing this again. Angry that things were really improving and now it’s kicked in again.

Nearly the weekend :)

I woke with a jolt this morning, one minute I was dreaming about being on holiday with my family the next I was wide awake and confused as I was still in a dream state. I laid there for a few minutes coming to my senses and for getting I had woken with a jolt went to get out of bed. I then realised why I had woken so ubruptly, I had massive back ache that shot a jolt of pain through me as soon as I went to sit up. I was half in bed and half out of it, waiting for the pain to subside as I wondered if I should get up or lay back down again. Well, my bladder won that one and I decided to move as quickly as possible to minimise the pulling pain, I did so and nearly fell over due to the intensity of the lightning like bolt that shot through me. Added to that I also woke with totally stiff hands that wouldn’t bend and I won’t go into detail on how my bathroom visit was, but just say that it took much longer than usual and I could of won a prize for the contortion act I did while on the toilet.

Months of no major symptoms of Endometriosis and now suddenly it’s back with avengence. The back pain is a big part of it, as is the pain in my pelvis that is currently causing me to limp. I had a very bad infection in my pelvis which was brought on by treatment and because I didn’t realise I had an infection until I had a massive bleed one day it went undeteacted for three weeks. Slowly spreading until the treatment was far worse than the cure. My pelvis has never been the same since, and I used to suffer really badly with pain, limping, bleeding backache until my ME and Fibro conditions took over and pushed it in the background. Now not only am I having terrible back and pelvis pain but I am bleeding constantly, sorry for that if squimish guys! It’s as though now my leg locking has eased up the Endometriosis has decided to rear it’s head, not gently but straight to the worst symptoms. My body is well and truly messed up inside, I do dread to think how I will be in 30 years time if it’s as bad as it is now. I guess only time will tell, literally!

Today begins the start of a long weekend spent with my partner. He works such long hours in the week, and as we don’t live together week days can only be a few hours at a time spent together. Which is still great, but this weekend is totally ours, neither of us have to do anything, no commitments etc so it’ll be lovely to have time together until Tuesday. It will be our year anniversary in a couple of weeks time, which has gone incredibly quickly. It is the longest proper relationship I have had, and by far the best one too. So much has happened in that year, and seeing as I became extremely unwell two months into it we seemed to have managed to get through it and any other things that have cropped up. We wont be doing anything major to mark the day, just spend what we can of it together. Which is all that really matters, fancy restuarants, gifts, are o;k but I have never been materialistic. To me spending time with him is far more important than any gift, money can’t buy time, togetherness nor love and that is what our day and celebration of the year will be about. 

🙂