Time slipping away like sand

I have been on another break from blogging, mostly due to my eyesight and 3 week headache.

Reading or writing has been difficult, and making both problems worse so I’ve been doing as little as possible.

It’s funny how time is slipping by, minutes turn into hours, hours into days, weeks into months without any knowledge of how it’s happening so quickly.

My ‘time lapse’ episodes are making time and days go by quicker than ever. When you’re losing several hours a day and night in the blink of an eye life becomes more and more surreal. I can lay there and know it’s lunchtime but in a second it is early evening with no knowledge of the hours in between. I’m functioning, I’m there physically, but it’s as though I’m going through natural motions and on auto pilot. Thankfully I’m not losing half the day everyday, but it’s still a few hours everyday. It’s as though I come out of a dream, slowly as you do when waking and then a state of confusion wondering what time it is or how it’s 4am.

I’m going to need to tell my doctor as the lapsing has become worse since the headache and non sight. It’s all day everyday, which is becoming a bit much.

Ah well, it could still always be worse I could have no head instead of a constant headache! 😉

I had my vitamin D injection last week. Straight into the muscle in my arm which I was not expecting! I’m thankful it wasn’t my bottom but jeez I nearly hit out with surprise! Much like a tetanus shot, it wasn’t painful for long but I did have a dead arm until the next day. I’m due for another one next month which I will definetly have, I’m really hoping will help my pain and muscle swelling.

Life continues to plod along otherwise. I had a letter on Monday apologising for taking so long making my pip decision but I will have one soon. Why they bothered to send me that letter in the first place I have no idea! Unless it’s to back themselves up by saying it’s taking time but they informed me it would be.. In my eyes its a pointless waste of paper, envelope and stamp!

I am planning a night at my parents soon. My father bought an electric orphapedic bed for use at their home, so I will look forward spending time with family and messing about with the bed! I know full well I won’t be able to stop myself folding, unfolding the bed via the switch.. I may be an adult but the child in me will never disappear! 😀

Room changing

Wow, this week has flown by!
It’s not due to being busy either, the days have all just gone without any rhyme or reason. Maybe it’s my age, time does seem to speed up as you get older.

I spent most of yesterday sorting my clothes out, ones to keep and others to donate. I don’t think I’ll ever be a size 6-8 anymore so I’m giving those jeans and tops to charity. I have so many clothes I do not wear/wouldn’t wear again it seems silly to store them when they could be put to use. My now everyday attire is shorts and vests , oh and slippers 🙂 yup I’m a fashion icon me.. 😉

My partner is changing the furniture in my room around today. I used to do this at least three times a year as I liked to have change, and even more so now as I spend most of my life in my room. I also get terrible headaches if the room is too light, I can’t afford to get black out curtains, my windows are 8ft across and I’ll be moving within two years so it’ll be a very expensive pointless purchase. So I have hung up old sofa throws at the windows, behind my curtains and tucked into the windows to keep them in place. It makes the natural light very minimal which keeps my headaches to a minimum so it’s a win win. But with my bed directly running along side the windows the minimum light does stream through at certain times in the day so my bed is being moved to stop this. It’ll be good to have a different lay out too, I may not be able to literally change my room but changing it around will help create a different room affect. This is good enough for me 🙂

Nearly the weekend :)

I woke with a jolt this morning, one minute I was dreaming about being on holiday with my family the next I was wide awake and confused as I was still in a dream state. I laid there for a few minutes coming to my senses and for getting I had woken with a jolt went to get out of bed. I then realised why I had woken so ubruptly, I had massive back ache that shot a jolt of pain through me as soon as I went to sit up. I was half in bed and half out of it, waiting for the pain to subside as I wondered if I should get up or lay back down again. Well, my bladder won that one and I decided to move as quickly as possible to minimise the pulling pain, I did so and nearly fell over due to the intensity of the lightning like bolt that shot through me. Added to that I also woke with totally stiff hands that wouldn’t bend and I won’t go into detail on how my bathroom visit was, but just say that it took much longer than usual and I could of won a prize for the contortion act I did while on the toilet.

Months of no major symptoms of Endometriosis and now suddenly it’s back with avengence. The back pain is a big part of it, as is the pain in my pelvis that is currently causing me to limp. I had a very bad infection in my pelvis which was brought on by treatment and because I didn’t realise I had an infection until I had a massive bleed one day it went undeteacted for three weeks. Slowly spreading until the treatment was far worse than the cure. My pelvis has never been the same since, and I used to suffer really badly with pain, limping, bleeding backache until my ME and Fibro conditions took over and pushed it in the background. Now not only am I having terrible back and pelvis pain but I am bleeding constantly, sorry for that if squimish guys! It’s as though now my leg locking has eased up the Endometriosis has decided to rear it’s head, not gently but straight to the worst symptoms. My body is well and truly messed up inside, I do dread to think how I will be in 30 years time if it’s as bad as it is now. I guess only time will tell, literally!

Today begins the start of a long weekend spent with my partner. He works such long hours in the week, and as we don’t live together week days can only be a few hours at a time spent together. Which is still great, but this weekend is totally ours, neither of us have to do anything, no commitments etc so it’ll be lovely to have time together until Tuesday. It will be our year anniversary in a couple of weeks time, which has gone incredibly quickly. It is the longest proper relationship I have had, and by far the best one too. So much has happened in that year, and seeing as I became extremely unwell two months into it we seemed to have managed to get through it and any other things that have cropped up. We wont be doing anything major to mark the day, just spend what we can of it together. Which is all that really matters, fancy restuarants, gifts, are o;k but I have never been materialistic. To me spending time with him is far more important than any gift, money can’t buy time, togetherness nor love and that is what our day and celebration of the year will be about. 

🙂