All about… me :)

For another change I thought I would talk about and show pics of me from my past.

I haven’t really given much background on myself, snippets here and there but the older I get the more I look back, I think being unwell makes you look back more often too.

I am the fifth of six children, all from the same parents no step. I have four older brothers and a sister 17 months younger than me.

Along with my parents, and the several dogs we had over the years it was a very manic, no personal space, boisterous, noisy but happy home.
Luckily we had a three story house and 100ft garden, where my parents and sister still live, so we had room to play, fight, move about without it being too crowded.

Having four older brothers did create a lot of teasing, jokes, being dared to watch scary films etc.. which I think moulded my character a lot. The traits of standing my ground, not easily scared, my humour, the standing up for myself and others.
I didn’t grow up very girly, I played football, cricket, made dens, but I still had Barbie dolls and have a memory of washing my dollies clothes and hanging them on our washing line as my Mum hung our washing.

We were not rich, or well off. We never had spare money and were lucky to have enough money to pay the bills. We grew up with no central heating, we relied on three coal fires and in a three story house you can imagine how un practical that was. In the winter it was freezing, and I mean so cold you could see your breath when in bed.

I have so many happy memories though, toasting bread in front of the fire, laying against our much loved and still missed dog Kano as I read and wrote stories. Playing cards, star wars figure games with my brothers. Playing practical jokes on each other, being teased but always knowing my brothers would and did fiercely protect us.

The one thing we always had was food. My Mum is the kind of woman who will not let you leave her home without haven eaten something or taken food with you. God knows how she managed this with so many mouths to feed, I know she went hungry many times so there would be enough food for us children.

This resulting in me being tubby.. well overweight as a child.

I matured at a very young age, physically as well as mentally. I was not a pretty child, I had big front teeth, wore glasses, was tubby, clumsy and wore baggy clothes to try to hide my chubbiness and maturing body.
This is me at 7 years old…

It took having my son to lose weight, which is unusual. I was 12 stone before pregnancy, 14 half stone after pregnancy and within six months was 9 stone, which over two years became 7 stone which was way too thin.
This is me at 15 on my sons 1st Birthday

From having my son, I changed my life around. I was a little wild before hand, never in school, hanging around with older and wrong people. I have no doubt I would not be here today if it wasn’t for having my son, I was on a slippery slope that could of only ended badly for me.

At 15 I was a Mum, working as a cleaner, in school and college. They have a brilliant school for young mothers in Bristol, where you take your children with you as you study. I have recently looked it up and it now offers 6th form and university level courses. I haven’t visited for a few years and kept meaning too, but the last two years have made me unable to do so. I plan to get in contact with the headteacher soon though. She is an amazing woman who campaigns for young mums and help any of us she can.

Some of my best years were spent in that school, I still miss those days more than I ever thought I would so many years later.

As regular readers know I suffer from Endometriosis too, the last 8 years of my life have been blighted by illness. I was not as bad then as now, and still had the silly side I do now which has helped me through a lot.
Dressed as Miss Christmas 3 years ago

So that is a little bit of my early life I wanted to share with you. I hope it didn’t bore you too much 😉
All of us that are unwell, have long term illnesses, short term, any illness that impacts on us had a different life before we became unwell.

For the people who only see us as we are now, sick, stick walking, wheelchair using bed and home bound need to realise this. That we are people, just like them. We were children, teenagers, adults. With all the past, memories, feelings families, experiences that well people had and have.

We are people, not a diagnosis.

Time slipping away like sand

I have been on another break from blogging, mostly due to my eyesight and 3 week headache.

Reading or writing has been difficult, and making both problems worse so I’ve been doing as little as possible.

It’s funny how time is slipping by, minutes turn into hours, hours into days, weeks into months without any knowledge of how it’s happening so quickly.

My ‘time lapse’ episodes are making time and days go by quicker than ever. When you’re losing several hours a day and night in the blink of an eye life becomes more and more surreal. I can lay there and know it’s lunchtime but in a second it is early evening with no knowledge of the hours in between. I’m functioning, I’m there physically, but it’s as though I’m going through natural motions and on auto pilot. Thankfully I’m not losing half the day everyday, but it’s still a few hours everyday. It’s as though I come out of a dream, slowly as you do when waking and then a state of confusion wondering what time it is or how it’s 4am.

I’m going to need to tell my doctor as the lapsing has become worse since the headache and non sight. It’s all day everyday, which is becoming a bit much.

Ah well, it could still always be worse I could have no head instead of a constant headache! 😉

I had my vitamin D injection last week. Straight into the muscle in my arm which I was not expecting! I’m thankful it wasn’t my bottom but jeez I nearly hit out with surprise! Much like a tetanus shot, it wasn’t painful for long but I did have a dead arm until the next day. I’m due for another one next month which I will definetly have, I’m really hoping will help my pain and muscle swelling.

Life continues to plod along otherwise. I had a letter on Monday apologising for taking so long making my pip decision but I will have one soon. Why they bothered to send me that letter in the first place I have no idea! Unless it’s to back themselves up by saying it’s taking time but they informed me it would be.. In my eyes its a pointless waste of paper, envelope and stamp!

I am planning a night at my parents soon. My father bought an electric orphapedic bed for use at their home, so I will look forward spending time with family and messing about with the bed! I know full well I won’t be able to stop myself folding, unfolding the bed via the switch.. I may be an adult but the child in me will never disappear! 😀