Room changing

Wow, this week has flown by!
It’s not due to being busy either, the days have all just gone without any rhyme or reason. Maybe it’s my age, time does seem to speed up as you get older.

I spent most of yesterday sorting my clothes out, ones to keep and others to donate. I don’t think I’ll ever be a size 6-8 anymore so I’m giving those jeans and tops to charity. I have so many clothes I do not wear/wouldn’t wear again it seems silly to store them when they could be put to use. My now everyday attire is shorts and vests , oh and slippers 🙂 yup I’m a fashion icon me.. 😉

My partner is changing the furniture in my room around today. I used to do this at least three times a year as I liked to have change, and even more so now as I spend most of my life in my room. I also get terrible headaches if the room is too light, I can’t afford to get black out curtains, my windows are 8ft across and I’ll be moving within two years so it’ll be a very expensive pointless purchase. So I have hung up old sofa throws at the windows, behind my curtains and tucked into the windows to keep them in place. It makes the natural light very minimal which keeps my headaches to a minimum so it’s a win win. But with my bed directly running along side the windows the minimum light does stream through at certain times in the day so my bed is being moved to stop this. It’ll be good to have a different lay out too, I may not be able to literally change my room but changing it around will help create a different room affect. This is good enough for me 🙂

But you are too young to be so ill..

That is what every one has said to me when seeing me in a wheelchair or finding out I am unwell and live as I now do.

One couple who I spoke to while waiting for the taxi to take me to my assessment last week got quite upset about what has happened. I have known them over 16 years, they are a lovely couple in their 80s and they live on the same landing as me, just a few doors down. They have seen how my son has grown from a 3 year old to a man and always say what a good lad he is and how proud I must be, which is true. The lady stopped and chatted for awhile and said she hadn’t seen me around and wondered what was wrong as I was always out and about and always up early when she was, and got very upset that I am unwell and in a wheelchair. She said how unfair it is and I didn’t deserve it, I was such a good person and when her husband came out he said the same offered help anytime I need it and got upset too. Which in turn made me upset, which I hid but the lump in my throat was there! Here is a couple in their 80s but more spry than most 20 year olds, seriously you would never believe they were that age in looks or ways. But they at 80 are offering me help, which is really sweet and kind of odd at the same time. As in, I am 33 but may need the help from them at their age, it should be the other way around. 

Which in most cases is true, but chronic conditions care nought for age or capability , they strike you down and disable you at any age they choose. They make your body old, unable to work and yes I can see why people say I am too young to be like this. But on the other hand, there are people much much younger than me with chronic conditions, kids, teenagers and I feel that is the most unfair if there is to be an age label. It is bad enough fighting doctors, consultants,medical professionals to get the help we need let alone on top of them schools, school boards, teachers, etc.. And this is what happens, I have heard so many times parents having to fight tooth and nail for their children who have M.E but who aren’t believed by these people and instead are labled ‘lazy’. Or parents being labled as nuisances, over protective and even looked in to by social services because of it! It is crazy, seriously upsetting and what families and children must go through is horrifying, my heart goes out to them. 

Illness cares nothing for age, I read that many years ago, but until I became unwell with my conditions I never really understood the true meaning of the saying. But that’s the way with many things in life, until you have experienced it you never truly understand how anything is. Life can be cruel, it can feel as though you have had more than enough to deal with without the inevitable pressures on top. and more so when you see people living the life of riley with no worries, problems or sacrifices. I myself have thought this at times, knowing people who are horrible, cruel, nasty but seemingly getting away with murder and happily doing so with no problems or worries. But, do we truly know what happens behind closed doors for people? Is the seemingly happy life they lead just that, seemingly happy? We all have our crosses to bear, some are just more obvious than others, such as ill health as it shows in the way we are, look, aides we use. I don’t truly believe anyone is without problems or heartache in their lives, it’s just easier for some to hide it, cloak it over than others.