Legs, Grapes and silliness

Resting day today, I hope! 🙂

My legs have been terrible this last week or two. They seem to have given up knowing how to walk properly, which I am not amused at. Giving up? Me? Never! My body shouldn’t be allowed too if I don’t.. They’re traitors! They would be banished to some far away land if I didn’t need them, which they know. Tsk.. 😉

My healthy eating has paid off in a weight way, I’ve lost nearly a stone in a month. I am beyond happy about this, when I lay down I no longer have a mound stopping me seeing my feet! It’s brilliant, I have hip bones, ribs, and real shoulder blades, something I haven’t seen for a year.
All due to keeping to a fruit diet. I have tried many times in the past to eat healthier but I fell within two weeks, always gradually going back to fatty foods, crisp and chocolate. If I really want to have choc I will, but I haven’t had any in many weeks and the last time I only ate half before I started feeling really sick and gave it away. I no longer crave it, nor crisp, pork pies, sausage rolls.. Gawd I ate them everyday. Now it’s natural for me to reach for an apple, banana, grapes.. Yes I’m still eating lots of them! I’m like a Greek figure, hanging grapes over my mouth in bunches and at times having them pop off the stems rolling everywhere and hitting my face. It’s rather amusing, but until I get someone to hang them for me I have to do it myself. You really can’t get the staff theses days..
😉

I am already getting itchy about my results, I really, really, reeeaaaly want to know what they are! I am not good at waiting for things like this, at most things that keep me guessing, it eats at me until I get the answers. I’m the kind of person to wonder about something, if I hear about it or see it, say a town and I will go straight into the internet and find out all I can about it. Thank goddess for the internet, years ago I used to have to scroll through books, thesaurus, maps and very rarely would I be satisfied with the the little information I found. Apparently it’s called having an inquisitive mind, or as I say, a nosey one. Whatever it is I will be on tender hooks until all my results come back. I don’t guess the results, my thoughts are that whatever they are, well they are but at least if I know I can finally deal with it/them.
It’s the not knowing that’s the worse, especially when I know it could cause big changes in not only my daily life but my lifestyle. Grrrrrr I hope they arrive soon!!

Big breath, calming thoughts and relaaaaax.. Until the thought pops into my head again.
🙂

Home assessment

Yesterday was a day of good news that totally overrode my crash.
I had a call from Atos they had a cancellation and offered me a home visit assessment on Monday!
I’ve been waiting nearly six months for this, and said yes immediately. An assessor will be here between 9-11am. My father will be here to help get me downstairs, open the door and stay during the assssment. He is also going to photo copy all my proof letters, my me and fibro diagnosis, specialist letters, appointments, home move, doctors letter, ESA assessment letter etc and give to the assessser so they can put them towards my claim. I have no idea if they accept photo copies but I also have the originals to show.
I am relieved and apprehensive at the same time. But I also know I am not lying or hiding anything from them so I hope they see and understand that.

The second good news, not in order, is about my son. He got a promotion!
He had the interview on Monday and they phoned him yesterday afternoon. He didn’t get the promotion he went for but they gave him another as the person is leaving in a few weeks, so they offered him his job! He is now in charge of technology in the store and has to go away with managers every few months on talks, tech side of things..
I am so proud! His first job, he hasn’t been there a year yet, and has been out five weeks with his broken foot. But he’s been promoted! And quite rightly, in my bias opinion 😉 though he does do overtime if someone’s unwell at a moments notice, is working in the offices sorting orders and stock and never takes sick days or time off, apart from recently and he was made to due to his break.
I even got a lil emotional when he told me, mothers love and pride eh! 😉

I am still very unwell, but the good news has made me keep smiling. I am starting on codeine again, a bit early but the oramorph isn’t enough and the pain is too much. Hopefully it’ll help! 🙂

My mother and sister are coming to visit this afternoon which will be great. Seeing them is always fun, no matter how I am.
All I need to do is get downstairs, a challenge but with a lil help possible! 🙂

Constantly waiting

No news about my results yet, oh I really don’t enjoy the constant waiting for results I have endured during the last year and a half.
I appreciate that I am just one of hundreds waiting daily, but results marked urgent obviously don’t mean the definition of the actual word. I can guarantee that I am told my results are ‘lost’ again, giving them three weeks to find them..

I spent most of my day in bed yesterday, I woke with tremendous back pain and couldn’t ease it no matter what I tried. My back had been niggling for a few days and decided to stop teasing and hit me in one fell swoop. This pain has become more and more of a problem in the last six months, it stops me sitting up for more than ten minutes at a time before it spreads upwards into my upper back, shoulder blades and ribs. Then downwards into my hips, knees and legs.
I posted a picture on Twitter showing how a body looks if you have severe fibro, and I can believe it. It’s easy to say you’re in pain, but to get the full picture is difficult for a lot of people to understand. Pictures like I posted show just half of the body and damage it causes daily.

I would be really interested to see an inside photo of my body and what it looks like. The MRI brain and spine scan I’m due to have, well I won’t get to see it but I would really like to. I feel that it’s my body, I have a right to see inside. I will request to look at the scans but I doubt they’ll let me, it can’t hurt to try though!

For now I am going to take some painkillers and morphine, the pain brought on by my back is getting a lil too much. I try never to take morphine as not only does it cause addiction but after awhile your body becomes used to it and requires more and more to help with pain. Today though, I may as well be taking smarties than pain meds so to the morphine I go..!