Waiting on my specialist

Yesterday continued to be pleasent. My son bought a table and chairs set, and I had my first meal sat at the table with him yesterday.
I have missed not having a table to eat at when I can, most of my meals are eaten in bed. So sitting at a table to salad and chatting with my son was brilliant, it’s the moments like that which makes the whole day brighter 🙂

Last night was a bad one pain wise. It had been niggling all day, but by 8pm it decided to rev up the fun! I didn’t sleep until 4am ish and I’m tired and a tad irritable on top of the pain. I certainly wasn’t impressed with the intense pain, but and at one point I recalled a programme I watched as a kid, someone chopped off their own leg because they were in so much daily pain they couldn’t cope with it anymore. Of course my brain then went to ridiculous imagination mode as it tends too and I wondered if I would ever get to that point. How I would manage with no legs, as it would have to be both. And would I stop there or start hacking at other areas, my left arm, right hand and how I would make a cuppa tea, get to the bathroom, down the stairs. In the end I imagined just having a torso and head, though I’d cut the pain and neuro damage parts out of the brain.. I got the giggles at that part, imagining my self with half a brain showing through my head.. Much like Ray Liotto in Hannibal.
I decided to stop that kind of thinking as it wasn’t helpful, but the giggles cheered me up and distracted me for a bit. A friend once said to me my imagination would lead me to the money or prison, neither have happened yet but you never know ;,)

I have an appointment with my pain specialist later today, I will discuss what other pain meds I could try because they don’t work at all again. I even upped the dose last night and still nothing. It again feels as though my bones are aching, along with my usual pain. I’m sure something else can be tried pain med wise, and my neuro meds are continuing to help my seizures become less often throughout the day which is great. So half the new meds are working is good news 🙂

Not too much planned for today, I’m not able to walk very well and my muscles are all really tight. I can’t take codeine due to the pain meds so I’m just on paracetamol and oramorph to take the edge off. I say edge, it’s more like trickle off. But again hopefully there are other options and I just need to talk to my specialist, very soon.. Very very very soon!

Anniversary

I made it to the zoo!
Yup, I wasn’t sure if it would pan out but it did and I had a wonderful few hours. I felt like a child, so excited, and I actually felt sick from excitement haha 🙂

I even had my face painted, my partner did too and it caused much amusement from children and adults as we walked around the zoo. I stopped caring many many years ago about what others thought and it didn’t faze me one jot, I smiled and did tiger grrrs at some children which they laughed at. Here’s the pic of me in all my painted glory

I also had two bunches of roses from my partner, white and pink 🙂
I love roses, I know it’s not exactly the rarest of flowers but I think them very beautiful and strangely relaxing. I shall take two of them out of the vase and dry them, I’ve done this with most flowers I’ve had, they create good memories for me.

Today has been a very happy one. Not just because of the outing but because of celebrating our year together. It may not seem long but during that year life changed beyond anything imaginable. So much has happened, bad as well as good, that I will forever look back and be astounded that not only did we get through it but we became stronger and closer because of it.
🙂