Feeling quite annoyed today, which I know doesn’t solve anything or make things quicker but my patience is running low.
I finally had my confirmation letter to go to the pain clinic and see a nuerologist and they haven’t changed the appointment date but kept it for 10th June,which is five months in total I would have been waiting for it. On top of that I have an 18 week wait to see a physio and no word as yet from the rhumetologist although that is supposed to be being fast tracked. As were the other appointments so I won’t hold my breath as I will most certainly be dead in the waiting time if I did! I’m not sure if this waiting is usual in other areas but it seems if you live in the south west of England then it is standard procedure. I am not blaming the people who work for the NHS at all, the nurses and doctors, and I know I am extremely lucky to get free treatment but I worry what kind of state I will be in before I get to go to these appointments, or if I can go at all by that time. As I’ve been told by my Doc last week I and my health are deteriorating and that has sped up this week to the point I can’t stretch my limbs at all as they lock and the pain and spasms this causes is I have to admit, awful. But how do you not stretch limbs if they are in pain, it’s a natural thing to do to relieve the pressure, but my body seems to have decided to flip around and make it 100 times worse if I do. Think of a cramp in your leg, then lock the muscle causing it to be totally stiff, add in massive heat and pain and then spasms in the rest of your leg and through the locked muscle for ten minutes to an hour and that’s what it’s like.
I also wonder how many people are suffering because of long waiting times, how many peoples conditions are so much worse because they’ve not had the treatment they need. How many people could of been saved worsening health and emotional trauma the months of waiting has caused. Do they think, oh well if we make them wait 5 months then they will probably get better and we won’t need to treat them? As if we are all in a state of hypocondria and the waiting time will put us off from pretending to be unwell. Which seeing as our doctors actually refer us to them and fully know we need their help, is total crap.
I’ve learnt so much patience over the last year, patiently waiting for symptoms to ease, situations my symptoms have created to pass, to not get annoyed at how my once clean tidy home is no longer so, patience in waiting til the absolute last minute to take my meds or call the doctor only when I feel extremely unwell. I could practically become a saint in patience I practice these days ( well maybe that’s a bit far fetched) but this is and has annoyed me to the point I am not only ranting about it here but twitter and people too! But, I have a plan which I started today. I am ‘phoning each of the places asking if they’ve had any cancellations. When answered with the eneivitable, no, then I will polietly inform them that I will ‘phone them again at the end of the week to check again. I will continue to do this twice a week. I don’t care how unwell I am, how slurred and patchy my speech is, how much energy I am going to use up doing this I am determined to see it through. Then maybe, just maybe they will have a cancellation or get so sick of me ‘phoning them they will create one for me.. Here’s hoping 🙂
Fibro and M.E 