I’m surprised I didn’t see a truck on me when I woke as I feel as though I have been run over by one! Every muscle is screaming at me, and my feet, hands and top of my right arm is swollen. I’m pretty sure I am going to lose the use of my right hand at some point today, the tight, spasming paining signs are there. It’s disappointing as I had three days where I wasn’t too bad, not out dancing but my body was much quieter. But that’s the thing with these darn conditions, they give you hope for a few days, a week maybe, then *bam* they reach up inside you and squeeze until your body is once again caught in it’s web of uncontrollable symptoms. I try not to get too hopeful, try to stem the thoughts of maybe this time I’ll get better but they pop into my head regardless.
It’s frustrating, annoying, hurtful, devastating, and yet it happens again and again no matter how much you understand you are now disabled and have very little chance of being who you once were. You trick yourself into believing your suffering could be over, you rejoice in the thought. Then have to pick up the peices when you crash again which becomes harder each time.
I did have a giggle yesterday evening though. My partner had bought me a pair of 5 blade kitchen scissors to help me dice lettuce etc.. and said that he had got me a surprise present too. Unfortunately he had ticked the wrong box on the order form and instead if getting me owl notepads with googly eyes, I got a 8 peice screwdriver that lights up when you use it! I laughed for ages over this :,) but I will use it when I can as it is actually really cool and useful. But so far removed from lil owl notepads as you could get! It’s the lil things that happen that brighten the day and this is still making me grin while I write now.. So it was definitely a great gift 🙂
Fibro and M.E 