My bed, my haven, my heaven, my hell

I’m disappointed to write that my pain is back, with vengeance.

It started Sunday morning, I woke in what seemed like hell, pain from hell. I also had a frozen neck, shoulder and left arm again.

The pain and freezing has been on and off all week, and I am disappointed and frustrated by it.

I was feeling much better, feeling hopeful and optimistic about the possibility this was the long awaited remission. It was for just over a week, and regardless of the returned and heightened symptoms I am immensely grateful for the week of improvement.

The worse bit is disappointing others, so many people were pleased and hoping this was a turning point.
The fact I am back to square one is and will disappoint them and I feel bad for that.

I know it isn’t my fault, I haven’t ‘asked’ for this, but still the feeling is there.

I am going to treat my current relapse as a blip and not let it become something other than an obstacle I will overcome. Chronic conditions are so changeable, you literally don’t know what your body will do from minute to minute day in day out.

If there was some kind of routine it would be easier to tell with them, but all I can do is work with them, expect the unexpected and hope my relapse doesn’t last too long.

Meanwhile my bed will become my haven and hell, knowing I have to spend so much time in it again, but my body being thankful for it.

It is a new bed though, and the comfort the memory foam mattress has given me is akin to laying on a cloud!. Someone I talk to on twitter said how good they found the memory foam mattress and hoped I benefited from it too. There really are some kind and helpful people out there 🙂

Well I can definitely say it is a huge improvement, I don’t need to constantly move my position to get comfortable or have springs sticking into me anymore.
If I am bed bound at least it’s a comfortable bed to be bound in, every cloud really does have a silver lining 🙂
.